Being Green
Posted on 05 Jan 2021 @ 6:35pm by Commander Calliope Zahn & Major Declan Finn
Mission:
M1 - Emergence
Timeline: MD06 0815
1222 words - 2.4 OF Standard Post Measure
It'd been a night of restless sleep. Declan wasn't one to let social drama get into his head but then he'd never had anything of that sort with any ranking officers. Especially not the one's in charge of his current duty station. Not to mention the pressure that MacTaryn had put on him to be successful here. All those things combined made for a night of fitful sleep. He'd woken up far earlier than he would have preferred and worked off his frustrations with a PT circuit around their little slice of paradise. The physical exertion was enough to help him focus on the day.
His first need of the day was on the Command Deck, to make a few queries, submit some follow-ups with Major General MacTaryn and gather the duty reports to adjust his Marine's patrol rotations. But of all the places on this station, the Command deck was the last one he'd be visiting anytime soon. At least during hours that the Captain or First Officer would be on it. Gunnery Sergeant Hammerwan gave him a confused looked when he'd told him to go up to the Command Deck and take care of all that for him, but he did it anyway. Thankfully he didn't ask questions. Given his feelings at the moment, he might just stay down here for the rest of this tour. Short of being summoned he couldn't think of anything that would find him on the Command Deck. Ever. Again.
But it found him anyway. Commander Zahn was cleaned up, at least as compared to her state the night before, and approaching such that for Finn to turn an about-face in the hall would look like nothing shy of a retreat. Calliope stopped at a respectful distance and looked between Finn and the marine with him, the same as had just earlier delivered Finn's report for him.
It was only by sheer force of will that Declan didn't register a reaction to see Commander Zahn. Instead, he just turned to Gunny Hammerwan and gave him the data PaDD in his hand. "Let me know if there are any problems," he said, letting the man head on down to the turbolift. "Commander," he offered curtly.
"I wanted to apologize to you, Captain," she said with sincere gravity. Calliope had the internal desire to explain her behavior but at the same time the fear of complicating something already terribly uncomfortable for both of them. "I was without excuse, and it will never happen again."
"No worries," he replied tersely. Whatever the hell had happened last night, he didn't really want to relive it. Especially not first thing.
"I've been going through something, personally..." She waved that away as a poor direction. "It's an inconvenient time for everyone and you didn't deserve to be put on the spot like that. Whatever feelings you have for Corvus, it wasn't right of me to make a scene of it."
Declan gave a short, awkward, embarrassed laugh and shook his head. "I do not have..." he cleared his throat and took a breath to steady himself. Of course this happened first thing this morning; the chance for him to embarrass himself even more over something so stupid and childish. He was not some hormonal teenager on the rampage for any female that wandered by, or some testosterone cliche of a Marine that Starfleet (and most everyone else for that matter) seemed to think that they were.
"Right. Last night was bloody awkward," he began, setting his hands on his hips, his right a little higher to avoid the sidearm clipped there. Out of habit, he dug his thumb under the web gear holding it in place. "But we're all adults here, yeah?" he said, "This isn't secondary school summer camp. I don't have a crush on Missy and need you to ask her about me."
He honestly wasn't sure what the hell happened last night, something he'd considered at length during his bouts of fitful sleep. He had to admit to himself that he did find Corvus slightly attractive, and he might have let his eyes wander where it shouldn't have last night, but what was strange was that wasn't his way. He'd worked with some truly amazingly beautiful Marines before, in close quarters and often in very compromised situations and he'd never, never let his eyes or his mind wander like that. That's not how it worked. It was just another reason for a night of restless sleep - why the hell had he done that?
"I wasn't offering any such thing. Look, I'm not used to this either. I'm used to medicating to mitigate my pheromones and that's changed now. I'm not used to managing the effects. I'm not telling you this because I want your sympathy or to excuse how I acted, as much as I'm hoping it will just help, you know, contextually. When you didn't report in yourself, I knew I had to address this. As you say, this isn't high school, and I'm ashamed I acted like it. And you should know there was more going on that you weren't aware of."
The expression on Declan's face was one of awkward confusion. He didn't deal well with this kind of stuff (probably accounting for his multiple failed marriages) and didn't really want to deal with it this morning. But at the same time, the Commander seemed genuinely bothered by his distance and he could certainly feel for someone that felt like they'd put their foot in their mouth. He was in the same boat at the moment. Maybe not as dramatically, but still.
"I get it, Commander," he replied. "I've worked with Orions before. On my side and against," he clarified. "So I get it. Apology accepted. But I still think it's best I keep my distance from Captain DeHavilland," he said, making sure to put as much emphasis on that formality as he could. "Regardless of your issues, the last thing I need is the Captain thinking my interest in completing any of my duties that involve her are a result of anything less than professional."
"I don't think anyone could think that of you, but I understand." She looked thoughtful,reevaluating how she'd reasoned it would be okay serving in the same CoC with Lance... Because you could do the right things for more than one reason... Because they wouldn't mix their private and professional lives. She wanted to laugh at herself. She'd never been on a tight-knit crew that hadn't ended up with a blend of personal and professional issues. They weren't robots, and their deployed work lives *were* their lives. She just shook her head. "I hope you change your mind. It's not the same without seeing you around the CiC. Thank you, Captain."
He gave her a pained smile in answer, "I uh, hope you... good luck working out whatever..." he waved his hands uncertainly. "Well whatever it is you're working out," he offered lamely. Man, he hated this touchy-feely stuff. He had no idea how to deal with it. "See you around."
Calliope turned back the way she had come to intercept him, not sure things were better exactly, but content that they weren't worse off for talking to Captain Finn.
