Present But Not Here

Posted on 25 Oct 2021 @ 1:33pm by Commander Calliope Zahn & Lieutenant Commander Lance Quinn (*)

Mission: M2 - Sanctuary
Location: Shuttlecraft ride to Kalaran Seedvault Reception Hall
Timeline: MD 08 ~1800
1223 words - 2.4 OF Standard Post Measure

Lance had been all but unresponsive on the shuttle ride when they rode down with one of the groups leaving the station. She tried not to take his barely audible "mmhms" and shrugs personally as she pointed out the features of the planet as it came into view. Normally he would have had a dozen facts on the tip of his brain about geological features or atmospheric conditions or historical context or all sorts of things. Things to make Calliope stop and think and also marvel at his incredible recall of detailed facts. She purposely misstated east from west to see if he was even paying attention. But he didn't correct her gently as usual, or even become irritated like he often did at others for making an obvious error.

She would have accepted a sneer. Even Irritation would have been something.

As he stared into the middle distance, she reached out to touch his hand, but he missed the moment and moved away to rub his chin.

She would have chalked it all up to anxiety about the crowded reception they were about to attend, something he never had really learned to do more than to cope with, but he didn't seem as anxious as much as he seemed deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Calliope asked him as the Shuttle circled their landing site.

"Work," he replied simply.

"You're somewhere else."

"Because my work is somewhere else," he replied, still barely paying attention.

Calliope leaned forward into her elbows on her knees. "Is it something I can help with?" Though it was more pragmatic, she had her own extensive experience in operations. "What are you working on?"

"Quantum Drive technology derived from a set of theoretical equations someone passed me," he explained fairly blankly.

Calliope knew that one was going to go over her head. Her knowledge of quantum effects was limited to the science-for-non-science majors that Lance had helped her pass in academy. Still. "Do you want to tell me about it? I met this bio researcher once who always talked to his pet Spider. He said it helped him to work through his ideas when he talked with her. I'm fairly certain I'm at least as good a listener as a spider. Though I've a few less legs and I'm not quite as hairy, I'm afraid."

"What?" he blinked, turning back to face her instead of looking out of the window. "What about spiders?"

"They're good listeners, as it turns out, particularly when you anthropomorphize them in your imagination." Her eyes searched his blank face as she tried at the playful summation of what he'd missed. But he didn't react and the disappointment dimmed her eyes. In the past, they'd always talked via subspace regularly, but Calliope knew intuitively that Lance held back as much detail about the complexity of his projects as she did about difficult aspects of her own missions— no doubt he wasn't stupid either and knew she restrained her recountings. She didn't want to live together and continue to keep their working-lives still in separate quadrants of their galaxy, so-to-speak. While she had his attention, muddled as it was with confusion over personified arthropods, she offered a heart-bruised smile and decided to be more direct. "Never mind the spiders. I just mean that I like to hear about your work."

"It's..." he sighed again. "It's work. I'm not sure what to say. Mathematics. Quantum engineering." In his head she wasn't likely to be able to follow the intricacies of every aspect of it, so there was little value in going to any great depth.

Defeated, she nodded and looked away. "Another time, then. Over a dinner, maybe." They hadn't had a sit-down meal together in... Calliope couldn't remember when. Maybe since they first arrived, sitting on the floor in the dark in the temporary junior quarters. That had been a sweet reunion, if fleeting. She sat back and glanced through the view port again.

Instead of landing at the space port, they had settled on a rocky plot outside of a number of Kalaran farming structures and descended into a cavernous structure. When the sudden invitation had been issued, Calliope had looked forward to attending together, as it had been most of a week since Lance seemed to have any free time, and she had hoped to make the most of a party invitation with him, even one in dress uniforms on a misogynistic world. But even their steps seemed mistimed. His long stride put him ahead of her and she tried to keep up without looking like she was awkwardly speed walking with her cane. It was a relief when the hot desert air gave way to the cool cavern with in. The place seemed to be an architectural marriage between Old UFP tech and nearly ancient humanoid survival.

"Look at all of this turn-of-the-24th century design." She muttered, elbowing Lance as they were led through the halls.

There were considerably more other attendees in the Lobby outside of the Reception hall and a great deal of pomp with banners and decorations laid out. The doors to the Reception hall stood open, although Calliope recognized a Security presence, also dressed in white like the rest of the officers from the Station. It was the intervals at which they were posted and how they scanned the guests without being unduly diverted in their attentions. Vigilance was always wise at these sorts of things. There was always the possibility of a mixer full of officials being a target.

Once inside, Lance seemed for a moment to pay attention to the present as Calliope noticed him scanning the room, rigid and avoiding eye contact with anyone. She'd seen this before. He was calculating where he would be least likely to be roped into any small talk. She trailed after him as he followed his instinct to an alcove on a far wall, close to one of the rows of saplings under the colored grow lights, although the alcove itself was cast in shadow.

It made for an awkward spell as she stood back, watching the goings on of exciting new arrivals and people she could recognize among the guests, while her date seemed anchored, broodily reverting back inside his own head once again. The only solution she had found in the past was a lot of expectation management leading up to what the limits of a party attendance would require of them: taking into account the other attendees, the preference he had for informality over formal affairs, and the need to let him warm up (or else to loosen him a little with alcohol). Not every party experience was terrible, some in fact had become very fond memories, but this one seemed doomed before they had gotten on the shuttle.

After a long time of faithfully standing nearby, Calliope finally put a hand on his arm. "I'm going to have a look around. If you need me, flag me down."

"Yes dear," he almost sighed dutifully. He was starting to sound like his father, he realised. As she left him it struck him that he was suddenly left standing there. Alone. Among the other attendees. Who might want to make small talk. "Wait...Calli-" he turned but she'd already disappeared into the throng.